Why We Each Heal Differently from Trauma
Maybe you’ve been feeling especially exhausted, anxious, or “off” lately but can’t quite figure out why. Could be that feelings have been flooding you. Perhaps it’s something that happened a long time ago that you haven’t worked through. Maybe it was one event, a series of events, or a prolonged sense.
Being revisited by trauma can be prompted by something you read or heard about. By a date on the calendar or a change of season. By a song, a sound, or even a smell. By an occurrence that seems to have no relationship to what you remember but is prompting anguish anyhow.
It could be that you’ve talked to friends and relatives about what’s going on. Some seem to get it while others listened politely or simply looked mystified. If this sounds familiar, it might be time to consider trauma therapy.
We’re each affected in different ways
Why is it that some people feel faint when they see a car crash, while others are able to pass it by seemingly unaffected? Why do some people return to painful relationships, while others are able to move on with apparent ease?
All of us are mortal, with our own vulnerabilities. But they vary from person to person. those differences have an effect on how we respond to and process trauma.
These frailties, which treatment for trauma addresses, often have to do with insufficiencies. A chaotic household. Absent parents. Intrusive or controlling ones. An abusive partner. The reason it takes time to accept that something was off is for years it may have seemed normal. In the case of families, one child may have escaped relatively unscathed, while another suffered lasting effects on relationships, work, and moving forward in the world.
Regaining a sense that life is okay
When something traumatic occurs, there’s a shattering that takes place.
The post-traumatic reaction is the experience of losing a connection to what kept us knit together. When that happens, the mind attacks the exact ideas that helped make life okay. We feel defenseless. A trauma therapist will help you make sense of your emotions, and bear witness as you put words to your experience.
All human beings have vulnerabilities. But we’re also resilient creatures capable of rebuilding what we thought was shattered.
Trauma, healing, and growth
In recent years, there’s been increased research on how traumatic experiences make us more resilient. This has been referred to as post-traumatic growth; the idea that trauma can actually be a positive force for growing and healing.
You may come to cherish friendships and family in a new way. You may seek closeness with others in a way you hadn’t previously. You may be able to identify more readily with others’ suffering.
You may eventually see yourself as stronger and wiser. If you’ve been harshly self-critical, you might develop a more realistic view of what you’re capable of. You might feel clearer about your priorities; what you want for yourself and your life.
If you’re suffering in the wake of trauma, call or text 213-807-6021. Let’s talk about how trauma therapy can help.
(Photo: Kha Lid/Pexels)
References
Bion, W. (1959). Attacks on Linking. The Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 2013 Volume 82, No. 2.
Rozentsvit, I. (2026) The Beholder’s Mind When Trauma Returns: From Childhood Adversity to Personality Organization and Aging [webinar].
Joseph, S. (2012). What Doesn't Kill Us: Stephen Joseph discusses the psychology of post-traumatic growth. The Psychologist, Vol. 25, No. 11, pp. 816–819.